Substitution of Words

I've decided to cut back on my cursing. My language has been described as unlady-like at best and drunken sailor-like at worst. A few days ago it reached an all time low when I had to change the word sh!t to shhtuff in front of Advisor when I was explaining how a protocol worked (as in you vortex this stuff a lot). Since then I've started substituting various other words for curse/swear words. This includes the following (I've attached explanations to those that Labmate has questioned):

"Son of a biscuit-eater" In high school someone thought that m-f-er sounded like biscuit-eater and it's just kind of stuck with me.
"Jiminy Christmas"
"Bloody frigging junk" This guy in middle school, who I had a crush on, was from England and used the word 'bloody' a lot (it all seemed very daring at the time). So, to assure him of the violence of my affections, I mocked him with it. And now it's part of my vocabulary.
"Oh go perform some anatomical near impossibility."
"You know, you can put that... in a meadow filled with pixie dust."
"It's all great. I'm just pooping rainbows over here." Oh, how I hate long days, incompetent people, and meetings.

Suggestions that Labmate and various other people have suggested:
"Temple and Arch!" Grad student from other lab suggested this. He's a Neil Gaiman fan.
"There's a special place in the Bush Administration for you for people like you." Contributed by Advisor
"I prefer to do thinks donkey, rather than mule style." Labmates suggested when I was looking for a way to say that 'I prefer not to do things half-assed.'

There are some other suggestions, but these are the ones that made me smile. We'll see if these actually improve my language at all.

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