A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Ice Machine

Interior. Sunday. Morning.

Grad Student leaves lab proper to get ice from the communal ice machine. She uses the door-propping-open-function of the door to keep it open because she has no pockets in her running shorts for keys. She makes it down to the ice machine and hears a door slam

Grad Student: Please, please, please let it not be my door.

GS walks back down the hall to her lab.

GS: Crap! That was my door. Now what?

GS frantically looks around, wanders the halls, and eventually finds a communal-- free-- house phone. She calls campus information.

Campus information: Campus Information. How can I help you?

GS: Hi! Can I have the number for Hospital Security?

CI: Sure. It's 555-5555

GS thanks them, hangs up and dials the number.

Hospital Security: How can I help you?

GS: I have a problem. I'm a grad student down in Building. And I locked myself out of my lab.

HS (Giggles): We can't help you. But Campus Police can. Call 444-4444. Have a nice day.

GS wishes HS the same, hangs up and dials Campus Police.

CP: Campus Police. How can we help you?

GS repeats her story. CP laughs.

CP: Have you tried HS?

GS: Well, they said to call you...

CP: Of course! Well, I'll call them and tell them to send someone out.

GS goes to wait outside of the lab door. Nervously hoping that her experiments will be ok with the delay. Campus Police Officer comes up.

GS: Thank you so much!

CPO: Hi. Can I see your ID?

GS: It's in the lab. If you unlock the door I can get it.

CPO: I can't unlock it without ID.

GS: Seriously? (She starts panicking. Experiments...) But it's in the lab.

CPO: There's nothing I can do. I need the ID.

GS: Look, you can follow me into the lab. I'll just grab my ID. Promise. Please, please, please let me in the lab. (That's a phrase GS never thought would leave her mouth.) You really can't unlock the door without my ID?

CPO (Laughs): I'm just kidding. Of course I can unlock the door for you. (Unlocks door) Have a great day.

End Scene.

Labels: ,