Pressure

I tend to place a lot of pressure on myself. If I work 16 hours one day, then I should at least that amount of time working the next day. If I spend all day running around trying to juggle half a dozen experiments, then I should spend the evening writing or reading. As I'm writing this down, I realize how ridiculous this sounds. If one of my friends were saying these things, I'd tell them that they're crazy and they need time to relax. Some how that sane, rational side gets shut down when it comes to me, though. I feel like I should constantly be doing something, even as I'm doing something else.

This weekend I didn't do any experiments. At. All. I'm sorry to say that it feels nice to take some time away from the lab. It feels especially nice after I got out late all last week and spent the days running around like crazy. So, instead of going into the lab I got some reading and writing done for the lit review (intro) of my dissertation, cleaned up the house, and hosted the in-laws. I feel more rested and am looking forward to Monday. Since I feel that way, I know that I needed the time away (especially after last week). My sane, rational side realizes that this is true and that I needed some time to do some reading and writing, but there's this nagging feeling that I'm a horrible grad student in the back of my mind.

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