Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wedding Parties

Busy, busy, busy. It never really stops. In one shape or another, I've been very involved with work the past few months. This weekend, though, I get a bit of a break. SIL-1's wedding is this weekend. Dr. Man and I are going down this evening, though. This is for two reasons (1) Dr. Man wants to see his family and (2) there are about a billion events prior to the wedding.

Now, I did have a bridal shower prior to my wedding (much to my annoyance). It was mostly done to appease my mother, who was aghast that I might not have one. I don't like being the center of attention. I never have, really. So, the idea of opening up presents in front of everyone was not appealing. Still, it was easier to give in than it was to fight (and by that point in time I was picking my battles). The shower was a low-key affair with no games, but there was coffee (it was held at my favorite coffee shop). The shower wasn't all that bad and the opening of presents was kept to a minimum. However, over the past two months, including this weekend, SIL-1 has had two bridal showers, a bachelorette party (with a lingerie shower), and a bridesmaid luncheon.

As I feel no compunction to give more than one gift, I'm not annoyed, but I am amazed. Amazed that anyone would want to spend that much time in the spotlight. Seriously, that'd be my worst nightmare. Still, this gives me a chance to dress up and wear cute dress one and cute dress two.

19 comments:

Psych Post Doc said...

All those events would be my nightmare as well. But.. at least you get to wear your cute dresses. Have fun.

EthidiumBromide said...

Are you sure that SIL-1 WANTS all those events herself? You just confirmed my worst suspicions.

About a year before my wedding, we had a huge engagement party -- about 100 people. It was the first time our families met (aside from our parents -- they had obviously met several times, as we had been dating 4+ years), and when we had the engagement shindig, I said it was in lieu of showers. As in, NO SHOWERS. My mother and MIL agreed at that point in time. So, everyone came bearing gifts to the engagement party, but with so many people, and since it wasn't a shower, I didn't have to open them there, thankfully, and I thought I was out of the spotlight. I loved the idea of an engagement party instead, because my husband also got to be there, and his friends -- I never understood why showers only celebrated the bride, when the groom is just as important.

Fast forward several months, and both my mother and my MIL insisted that I HAD to have showers. And because they live in different areas, and I lived somewhere different too, next thing I know, I wound up with 3 (THREE!!!) surprise showers. I cried. As in, tears. I didn't want any of them. Don't get me wrong -- I appreciated the effort -- but the deal was if we were having the engagement party, then there would be no showers. Of course, aside from my Maid of Honor, and the mothers, none of the same people were invited to more than one shower, but THREE! I was so afraid it would make me look greedy and that I wanted all the attention, and that is exactly the suspicion you just confirmed. Perhaps she didn't want that many showers or events either... but her family wanted to throw those for her.

Then, I wound up with two bachelorette parties, as well. Knowing how much I love scuba diving and aquatic life, my friends arrange an overnight trip in the Baltimore Aquarium, which was totally fun in that my friends flew in from across the country and had a totally unique adventure. But then my local friends in DC decided I needed the classic "night out" so on the night of my husband's bachelor party in Atlantic City, they took me out in DC for the standard drunk bar/club night. So I had two of those as well.

I assure you, I asked for none of it, but received all of it. That doesn't mean that I didn't appreciate every last bit of effort everyone put into everything, and enjoy what they did for me -- but it was NOT because I asked for it.

Amanda said...

Psych Post Doc: In the words of Dr. Man "Resistance is Futile." So, I might as well look at the brightside.

EtBr: I'd be horrified to have Three Showers. That's just... I don't know... scary. The bachelorette parties sound like fun, though. And I don't think those are greedy, per se. More like celebrations.

However, I do know that SIL-1 wants all of these parties. In fact, she requested to have both a bridal shower and a lingerie shower. The second bridal shower is for out of town people the week before the wedding (so I'm not sure about that one). SIL-1 was the one who brought my lack of bridesmaid luncheon to my attention and since she's gotten engaged she's talked just as much about the variety of parties as the wedding itself. So, I'm fairly certain she wants all of these and she likes to be in the spotlight (not in a bad way, though... she just likes to be noticed).

Jennie said...

I have to admit that I like being in the spotlight. I didn't think of my bachelorette party (friends) or the shower (mostly family) as spotlight events. I did think of the wedding as a spotlight event and I loved that I had all (most) of my favorite people there and they were all there because of me. I'm having a 30th bday party on sunday and I'm excited to again be the center of attention. I've said no gifts but people should bring something to drink.

Have fun in your cute dresses.

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

The wedding and 2 stagettes were quite enough spotlight for me! (Although the first stagette was a camping weekend so that was really low key and fun). I can't imagine wanting to be the centre of attention more than that!

ScienceGirl said...

I had one evening to spend with friends before the wedding (no gifts involved), which was lovely; I would have loved to have even more time with everyone, but the distances people had to travel constrained us.

Now, if you think your SIL has a lot of parties, imagine going to all of those twice. As in, a friend is getting married the second time around, again with lots of gift-oriented parties. Hubby and I are trying to decide if we should give gifts, and if so, should they be the same as the last time?

Aunt Becky said...

If I could have paid someone to stand in for me at my wedding, I would have. Seriously.

EcoGeoFemme said...

Cute dresses! Petite, huh? I totally imagined you being tall...and looking kind of like Amanda Bynes. Wearing sneakers. :)

I hope you enjoy the wedding parties. I find events like that very hit or miss depending on how much I like the group of people.

Silver Fox said...

Well, I sympathize about all the parties. Hopefully, you only do it once so it's the great excuse for a party (or several) - but as Sciencegirl pointed out - sometimes it's more than once [I think a gift is appropriate the second time, but probably not exactly the same one!].

I was mortified at one Sis's wedding to have to wear *high heels* - as I usually fall over in those!

Nice dresses!

Amanda said...

Jennie: Drinks are always good. :-) The center of attention thing really freaked me out at my wedding. I liked seeing all my favorite people, but having all those people looking at me...

Cath: The camping weekend sounds like a lot of fun!

Science Girl: Should they be the same as last time? That made me laugh. I think gift-oriented parties should be kept to a minimum... always.

Aunt Becky: Yep, me too. In fact, I asked a friend of mine to do so. But he said no. He thought someone would catch on. And Dr. Man said that he'd rather marry me, not a stand-in.

EGF: Yep, I'm fairly short. If I get any good pictures this weekend, I'll post them (for a short period of time). However, I do wear sneakers pretty much all the time :-)

Silver Fox: I've been practicing in my not-so-high-heel shoes for the wedding this weekend. Otherwise I would fall over!

EcoGeoFemme said...

ooh, I'll be on the look out for short-lived picture posts!

You must think I'm so weird -- I think I've left several odd comments here (like saying I imagine you look kinda like Amanda Bynes). I promise I'm not a stalker or anything. :)

Amanda said...

EGF: I know that you're not a stalker as I look nothing like Amanda Bynes. Well, we both have brown-ish hair, but (unfortunately) I think that's where the similarity ends. :-)

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

The camping was awesome. I'd wanted to do that for my stagette ever since organising a friend's a few years earlier, we just had sooooo much fun. But unfortunately bugs love me and I didn't want to be covered in bites for the wedding, so we went camping a good month in advance. And it's a good thing too, the bugs were evil at that campsite. Of course that meant that my UK-based sister couldn't come, so I had to have another one in town the week before the wedding!

Unbalanced Reaction said...

I love those dresses! Sadly, I always look so ODD in dresses--- and I consider myself to have a fairly "normal" body type.

Amanda said...

Cath: What a great excuse... er... reason to have another one before the event!

Unbalanced Reaction: I usually don't wear dresses because they don't really work in the lab. I've found, though, that I can get really inexpensive alterations done so they'll fit my body type (like around $5). That may work for you?

Albatross said...

I'm not one for pink but I love dress 2!

chall said...

I do not think the idea of having several parties per se is a bad thing (I would feel a bit awkward with all the attention as well) but to ask of presents from all? For me it turns a bit embarresing when all the money is factored in. I mean, if it is my wedding and I want to spend money that is all fine. But to ask from all my friends/family to put all that into my wedding......

But again, to each their own and as long as everyone are happy!!

And to be able to wear dresses is always fun! I wish I cold have an occasion or three for my new dresses I bought on sale and am still to wear ;)

thesciencegirl said...

ooh, I really like cute dress 2.

Amanda said...

Albatross: Thanks :-) I have a (not-so-great) picture of me in that one that I might post.

Chall: I do love the excuse to wear dresses. I used to hate wearing them, but with the enforced almost-grungy dress code of the lab, I love them.

The Science Girl: Thanks :-) It turned out to be my favorite.